Bitter-Sweet Sibling Dynamics
In this vast journey that is our lives, there is one companion we do not always notice: who either follows us like our shadows or illuminates our path like the sun. For most of us, that companion has been our siblings. Sibling relationships have contributed to society’s social structures and dynamics. The siblings’ age and abilities determine their power in the family’s social hierarchy, which is also reflected in social classes across history. This divide of authority often led the weaker beings to suffer in the relationships, as they fell victim to the ones with greater authority. Tragedies were not the only result of the power divide, though, as everyone in society learns and benefits from each other’s roles and coexists to develop their identity as essential family members despite their differences. “Cinderella” and “Wild Swans” are primary examples of sibling rivalry and bondings that reflect such complex relationships between siblings in their respective environments and the social interpretation of siblings of their times. In our youth, such tales taught us morals to strengthen our sense of identity and gave us models of the valuable assets siblings were. Though the power dynamic shown in fairy tales portrays conflict between siblings, it positively impacts their relationship since they form a sense of empathy for each other, and the social difference assigns roles to each sibling.
Sibling relationships are uniquely powerful and positive due to the deeply rooted trait of empathy. Fairy tales significantly emphasize this trait through several stories in which siblings always tend to care for each other and understand the conflicts each of them is going through. Charles Perrault is one such fairy tale author who expressed sibling love throughout several of his stories like “Sleeping Beauty,” “Bluebeard,” and surprisingly “Cinderella.” Perrault’s versions of fairy tales are often family-friendly as they usually have happy endings and aim to deliver certain morals to children, highlighting the good in his many stories. In his “Cinderella,” he portrayed the classic rags to riches story in which Cinderella maintained her benevolent character and obeyed her stepmother and stepsisters. She faced their oppression with kindness and had to sacrifice her desires to thrive. Thus, the magical fairy godmother witnessed the purity of her character and rewarded her with an opportunity to marry a prince and have her happy ending. Despite being harsh, the siblings still had some sense of empathy and love for one another. The younger stepsister recognized Cinderella as someone beautiful and called her “Cinderella” instead of “Cinderbum,” unlike her older sister (Perrault 130). Perrault portrays how siblings always have a lingering sense of care for each other, even though they do not always express it. This shows how sibling love is more complex than it appears, and it is a strong bond that nurtures each sibling to thrive in the worst situations. Siblings are the companions who grow up together and deeply understand the obstacles, troubles, and pains they overcome. Like the younger stepsister, siblings also observe each other’s strengths and positive qualities that will help them grow. Because of this experience of growing along with a companion, they each have a sense of empathy that helps support one another and grow stronger as individuals.
In a paper that outlines the effect of empathy in sibling relationships, sociology researchers from the University of Alabama (including Nahide Gungordu) give real-life examples of how siblings perceive each other and how their experiences make them experts in understanding what is best for them. The researchers conducted an interview in which a sibling named Ada explained how she showed her siblings empathy despite risking being in trouble. Such an example explains the purpose of affective and cognitive empathy skill development in response to a sibling’s needs (Gungordu et al. 249). The article illustrates how siblings are very generous because they understand how one may suffer from the severe consequences the other went through. This sense of empathy is a constant pattern seen through several complex siblingships in which siblings are protective of each other and do their best to ensure the other siblings thrive despite making losses. Cinderella sacrificed her happiness for her siblings, while her youngest stepsister showed empathy to Cinderella and recognized her for her beautiful character and qualities. While they did not show much love in their relationship, they depended on one another to survive.
Sibling relationships allow each individual to see themselves in the reflection of one another and develop their character. Hans Christian Andersen is a renowned fairy tale writer who used explicit details to create a vivid image of his magical world. One of his works is “The Wild Swans,” in which he explicitly details the sibling affection between the brothers and sister. “She groped in amongst the ugly nettles, which burnt great blisters on her hands and arms, but she determined to bear it gladly if she could only release her dear brothers” (Andersen 1456). The siblings’ father (the king) left them in the clutches of the evil stepmother, who took advantage of this to seclude the siblings and curse them so that she could enjoy the king’s attention and wealth instead. Hence, they grew up under harsh conditions, faced several challenges together, and risked their lives for one another. Developing this level of trust with anyone takes time and respect for each other, which is why sibling relationships are special since siblings know each other well enough to put their lives in jeopardy. The brothers guarded Eliza through most of the tale, a trait she always admired. Hence, the brothers took a leap of faith by placing their lives in her hands and reflected that she was powerful enough to protect them.
According to Katherine Davies, a senior lecturer in sociology at the University of Sheffield, sibling relationships are an essential aspect of how everyone is perceived by others. Her research article discusses how sibling relationships impact a young individual’s self-identity through the scope of sociology and how the relationships formed between people of different age groups affect the development of young children. “In addition to identifying similarities and differences themselves, participants also referred to the ways others commonly compared them to their siblings, categorizing them, and constructing their identity in relation to their brothers/sisters” (Davies 688). In Davies’s interviews with children, she discovered how siblings perceive each other through comparisons. Their unique qualities help them learn from each other to develop themselves into better individuals. Furthermore, the siblings from “Wild Swans” reflect such behavior as they use each other as motivation to find cures to their curses and seek peace in the worst circumstances. They find the courage in each other and help each other grow into fervent heroes. While parents may have a better understanding, as adults, of how to nurture and teach their kids, they often can’t understand their children’s exact perspective. Like the king, they succumb to their responsibilities while leaving their children to adapt to unique circumstances. Hence, the siblings fill that spot as companions that guide one another as mirrors reflecting each other’s qualities.
While some believe that sibling hierarchy and rivalry have a negative impact on the siblings’ relationship and growth, the unique status in the sibling relationship assigns each of them roles so that they can depend on each other. Perrault’s “Cinderella” is a prime example of the sisters’ dependence on Cinderella. “They summoned Cinderella to advise them because she had good taste; the advice she gave was perfect” (Perrault, 131). The tales always paint the stepsisters in a negative image or how they are vengeful towards Cinderella since they differ by blood. They constantly challenge Cinderella’s altruistic character to see how much they can abuse the poor thing because she is more beautiful than them. However, Cinderella serves her siblings’ every need and shines through such terror with a pure heart. This further shows how each sibling has a role in the family. The stepsisters rely on Cinderella for every chore because they are incapable of practical work. Cinderella also relies on the sisters to develop her benevolent and potent character. Likewise, several siblings depend on each other, whether chores, life lessons, education, or experience. Such distinct roles are essential to each sibling to challenge their identity consistently to assess how to improve any deficient quality.
In an academic book, Ann Buchanan (a senior research associate in the Department of Social Policy and Intervention and Professor Emeritus of Social Work at Oxford University) discusses the historical development of sibling relationships and dynamics through several cultures. One typical pattern in most households was the roles each family member had to fulfill. “Older siblings often acted as younger children’s caretakers, educators, and playmates. When the older sister married, young sisters might be recruited into the new family to help care for their nephews and nieces” (Buchanan). Buchanan gives an explicit example of how siblings must rely on each other for certain aspects of life since they specialize in a certain quality. Though it may seem unjust to make some siblings scapegoats to handle the burdens of a family, it assigns these siblings great importance and makes them stronger individuals who stand out the most in society. Their responsible qualities make them influential personalities as Cinderella made it from the ashes to the prince’s castle. These distinct qualities establish a person’s unique identity and make them a well-established societal individual. Usually, these roles form through the strengths and weaknesses of siblings in families. Siblings assign each other power by age, gender, and skills that help distinguish each. While many debates may be controversial, this power dynamic is valuable, even in modern society, by allowing each member to take responsibility for the part of life they specialize in.
Therefore, while many fairy tales appear to ignite vicious conflicts between siblings through their power dynamics, they uncover the hidden bittersweet bonds between siblings through lingering compassion and dependence on each other. Today, various adaptations of fairy tales exemplify the power sibling bonds hold that transcend the barriers laid by the world. Social classes and gender roles are some of these barriers, yet siblings may quarrel to establish themselves as superior to one another. Such clashing patterns will repeat in different forms over time as challenges to better themselves and express their intricate tenderness.
Works Cited
Andersen, H. C. “The Wild Swans.” Fairy Tales of Hans Christian Andersen, Floating Press, Auckland, New Zealand, 2010, pp. 1443–1464. EBSCOhost, https://search-ebscohost-com.ccny-proxy1.libr.ccny.cuny.edu/login.aspx?direct=true&db=e000xna&AN=346015&site=ehost-live. Accessed 3 Nov. 2023.
Bettelheim, Bruno. “Cinderella.” Children’s Literature Review, vol. 79, 2002, pp. 77–166.
Buchanan, Ann. “Brothers and Sisters: Themes in Myths, Legends and Histories from Europe and the New World.” Brothers and Sisters, Springer International Publishing, pp. 69–86, https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-55985-4_4.
Davies, Katherine. “Siblings, Stories and the Self: The Sociological Significance of Young People’s Sibling Relationships.” Sociology, vol. 49, no. 4, 2015, pp. 679–95. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/44016699. Accessed 19 Oct. 2023.
Gungordu, Nahide, et al. “Empathy and Sibling Relationship Dynamics of Women in Emerging Adulthood: Mixed‐method Research.” Family Relations, vol. 71, no. 1, 2022, pp. 238–55, https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12618.
Korneeva, Tatiana. “Rival Sisters and Vengeance Motifs in the ‘Contes de Fées’ of d’Aulnoy, Lhéritier and Perrault.” MLN, vol. 127, no. 4, 2012, pp. 732–53. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/41810077. Accessed 19 Oct. 2023.
Perrault, Charles, and C. J. Betts. “Cinderella, or The Little Slipper Made of Glass.” The Complete Fairy Tales: Oxford World’s Classics, OUP Oxford, 2009, pp. 130–139. EBSCOhost, https://search-ebscohost-com.ccny-proxy1.libr.ccny.cuny.edu/login.aspx?direct=true&d =e000xna&AN=302377&site=ehost-live. Accessed 3 Nov. 2023.
